Confessions of a Uterine Rupture mom

By Andrea Marie Fierro

Having a Special Scar is more than just having a scar on your uterus. It is much more than that, and it goes way deeper. A lot of people don’t understand. My Special Scar is an upright T due to a complete uterine rupture. When it happened, I was told that I couldn’t have any more kids. And you know what, at the time I actually believed it. And I accepted it. I thought that I didn’t have a choice. My baby was THIS close to dying, and I knew the same thing would happen if I got pregnant again.

Once I got home from the hospital, the sadness really set in. We wanted a fairly big family, and all of that was crushed. I found myself crying all of the time, and I felt so broken. Why was my body not up to par? What did I do wrong? And the one that still haunts me… “Why me?!”.  So many women go on to have smooth VBACs, why did I have to rupture? There were so many questions, and so many tears.

I had to deal with a lot of people who didn’t truly get what I was going through. A lot of people thought that I should’ve already been over it. Of course, most don’t say it. But you can just tell. I got a lot of “at least you have a healthy baby” and some even went as far as telling me that my rupture couldn’t have been complete because my baby came out okay. Those people weren’t on that table with me when I had to listen to the doctor freak out about not knowing where everything goes in there. “Is this cervix?!” “What is this?!” “Where does this go?!”. Johnathan’s body, cord and arm were inside of my abdominal cavity… outside of my uterus. It was serious, and he barely made it. And it really hurt when people would dismiss the seriousness of it, because it made me feel like I was upset about nothing. That was the most traumatic thing I have been through (Alex’s birth is right up there, too) and it was not easy to deal with. And it’s still not.

When I found Special Scars-Special Women, I felt refreshed. All these ladies have been told the same thing I have, and they still go on to have amazing births afterwards. It was almost unbelievable. I was presented with a ton of information, and I took my time going over it all. I read a lot of things that I have never read before; I educated myself. With the help of those wonderful women, I realized that my body is not broken, and that I have the right to choose how I want to birth. My body, my choice.  And with all of the information I had in front of me, I made the decision to go on to have another child.

Something I never tell others is that I plan to have that child via VBAC.

It’s safer. I refuse to sign up for a C-section “just in case”. My body works. The risks for surgery are very high, and that is something that people really lose sight of. The obvious goal here is a healthy baby and mom, and I feel that is best achieved by having a vaginal birth. The fact that I’m planning to have VBAC mistakenly made it to the wrong people not too long ago. I was harassed and was called many names. But I will no longer let all of that get to me. I’m very confident in my decision and no one can tell me otherwise. I am not afraid.

We are not adding to our family just yet, but when we do, I know I will have so much support. Through Special Scars, I have found women who will support me no matter what. After the rupture, I have made amazing new friends, and found lots of people who I can connect with. I am no longer alone. I have grown from this. And although I didn’t know much then, I know a lot now. Education is key.


8 Responses to “Confessions of a Uterine Rupture mom”

  • Heather Says:

    Amazing story! Thank you so much for sharing! Was your rupture baby during a vaginal birth or a RCS a first Cesarean? I just ask because this story sounds similar to my friend. Her uterus ruptured on the operating table.

  • Mon Says:

    Andrea, I also had an uterine rupture two months ago. It was during a VBCA attempt, too. I send you a message by facebook. I would like talk about it.

  • Sabrina Says:

    Good luck with your future choices! You can do it! I just had a HBAC after two. :) thank you for sharing your story!

  • Kat Says:

    Pregnancy and birth are always times in a woman’s life where she gets bullied for not exhibiting behaviours desired by “whoever”.
    What women need to have drummed into them is that THEY, not some bloody doctor they’ve never met before, not a midwife they only ever saw once, know best about their own baby and their own medical priorities.
    If people were a bit less obsessed with doing as they’re told and avoiding punishment, there would be far fewer sick babies in this world!

  • Michelle Says:

    You are amazing and an inspiration! I went through a forced c-section almost 4 years ago, now I’m 22 weeks along and I’m strongly opposed to having another c-section. I’m so very determined to have a VBAC and be successful. I admire your courage to try again. I know I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, you are simply amazing. I can’t wait to hear how things go for you! XOXO

  • Natalie Says:

    Hi,

    Thank you so much for sharing your story! I am really curious about what happened during the rupture. I’m not sure if you’re comfortable talking about it or if you’d rather not think about it, but when you ruptured how did you know? How did the medical staff know? How fast did the medical team have to act? I’m trying to decide what I want for my next birth. I’ve had 2 c-sections and would love a vba2c. I feel like medical people always say that you can’t really feel rupture. But do they mean a dehiscence or a full rupture. You know? From what you described it sounds like you would have felt it. I’d love to home birth my next baby too. I just don’t yet know how to make sense of this risk. Thanks again for sharing.

  • Saadia Sharjeel Says:

    Could you please tell me if you were induced at any time or did your labour start and proceed naturally?

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